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The Enemies List

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I feel sorry for the friends and relatives on Facebook who hold *actual* conservative or libertarian political beliefs. It’s important to note those were NOT the political beliefs defeated yesterday evening, and although I have mostly kept my political opinions to myself, I do have one message for the following groups:

  • the guy at the Romney rally wearing a tee shirt that urged people to “put the white back in the White House”
  • people with bumper stickers saying “Don’t re-nig in 2012.” Not only is that criminally racist, it also shows you don’t care about spelling.
  • people in Texas who lynched empty chairs after the Republican convention.
  • people who brandished firearms at public political events.
  • people who fired live ammunition at an Obama campaign office.
  • people who actually believed that the Affordable Care Act would include “death panels.”
  • people who dumped fecal matter outside of Ohio Democratic party headquarters.
  • Paul Broun, the Georgia Republican who stated that evolution and embryology are lies from the pit of hell. He’s a physician, too! Unbelievable.
  • people who believe this is a Christian nation.
  • people who throw around words like Marxism, communism, socialism, fascism, and don’t have the slightest idea what they mean… because they think Obama is all of the above.
  • Charlie Fuqua, the Republican candidate for the Arkansas House of Representatives who suggested that all Muslims be expelled from this country and that we institute the death penalty for “rebellious children.”
  • people who parrot Sarah Palin’s “hopey changey” mockery of voters who think this country has a future.
  • people who go around talking about Obama’s “Muslim buddies.”
  • people who suggest that their political opponents are destroying America… for any reason at all.
  • people who think PBS and NPR hate freedom and are wastes of money. Sorry, Big Bird.
  • Jon Hubbard, another Republican candidate in Arkansas, who said slavery was the best thing that ever happened to the ancestors of today’s African-Americans.
  • any CEO who threatened layoffs if Obama were reelected.
  • people who resort to childish name-calling: Obummer, Odumbo, Oblowmofo, Ovomit, etc.
  • people who hope the President of the United States fails at his job.
  • people who consider “liberal” and “progressive” to be dirty words.
  • people think women who request or are on birth control are sluts.
  • anyone responsible for Conservapedia.
  • anyone who eats at Chik-fil-A.
  • anyone who goes to a member of the clergy for guidance on how to vote.
  • Bob Morris, the Indiana Republican who said the Girl Scouts were a radicalized organization of lesbians and abortionists.
  • St. Augustine, Florida Tea Party chairman Dave Heimbold, who asked, “Why are republicans not addressing the fact that Obama is a communist? The forward sign (used by the campaign) is a rallying cry from the universal communists and fascists.”
  • people who believe the Peace Corps and Teach for America are Obama’s Schutzstaffel.
  • Clemson fans who booed the part of the oath that states they must obey the orders of the President of the United States. There’s no P in the name of your school, morons…
  • NASCAR rednecks who booed Michelle Obama and Jill Biden.
  • men who think they know more about women’s bodies than women do.
  • Todd Akin: “(f)rom what I understand from doctors, … (i)f it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.”
  • Richard Mourdock: “(E)ven if life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that is something that God intended to happen.”
  • John Koster: “On the rape thing, it’s like, how does putting more violence onto a woman’s body and taking the life of an innocent child that’s a consequence of this crime — how does that make it better? You know what I mean?”
  • representatives on the House “science” committee who don’t seem to believe in science.
  • people who still don’t believe Obama is eligible to be president.
  • the makers of the DVD dropped into Floridians’ mailboxes suggesting that Obama is the love child of an illicit relationship between his mother and Communist Party loyalist Frank Marshall Davis. It’s a film that purports to have uncovered nude photos of Obama’s mother in a bondage magazine.
  • people who have stated or believe Obama is “shucking and jiving” the American people.
  • any politician who threatens to withhold disaster relief during an emergency over partisan pettiness.
  • the guy who got the Romney Ryan campaign logo tattooed on his face.
  • people who continuously call their political opponents “retards” or some variation.
  • anyone who believes that homosexuals are out to recruit children to “try out” their orientation.
  • anyone who believes conspiracy theories surrounding weekly and monthly jobs numbers.
  • any members of sovereign citizens movements.
  • anyone engaged in polling site electioneering. It is illegal in New York and should be illegal across the country.
  • Larry the Cable Guy
  • Honey Boo Boo and her entire family
  • whoever is responsible for the fact that the Discovery Channel and TLC are now almost entirely made up of shows about rednecks, truckers, and moonshiners. Why is this a thing?
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michael Savage
  • Grover Norquist
  • any politician who made a pledge of any kind to Grover Norquist
  • Karl Rove
  • Tony Perkins
  • Michelle Malkin
  • The Koch Brothers
  • Donald Trump
  • Dennis Miller
  • Clint Eastwood
  • Bill O’Reilly
  • Sean Hannity
  • Rudolph Giuliani
  • Pat Robertson
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Mark Levin
  • Glenn Beck
  • Matt Drudge
  • Billy Graham
  • Franklin Graham
  • Sheldon Adelson
  • Charles Krauthammer
  • Dick Morris
  • Jay Cost
  • Jennifer Rubin
  • Erick Erickson
  • Eric Cantor
  • Brian Brown
  • John Boehner
  • Mitch McConnell
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Rick Santorum
  • Allen West
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Jon Husted
  • Mark Foley
  • David Vitter
  • John Fleming
  • Ted Haggard
  • Larry Craig
  • William Bennett
  • Fox News
  • The New York Post
  • The Tea Party
  • The Southern Baptist Convention
  • the New York-area Republican campaign operative who used Twitter to disseminate inaccurate information about flood damage to major institutions.
  • “True the Vote” lunatics who swarmed polling sites to challenge what they believed to be ineligible voters (brown people).
  • Constitutional originalists.
  • National Organization for Marriage.
  • American Family Association
  • Family Research Council
  • Liberty University
  • Regent University
  • One Million Moms (not even close to one million, by the way.)
  • Alliance Defending Freedom
  • Americans for Job Security
  • The National Rifle Association
  • Joe Wilson, the guy who pointed and yelled “You lie!” at President Obama during a joint session of Congress. The guy’s name is not even Joe.
  • Joe the Plumber. His name isn’t Joe either.
  • people who make ominous, racist political advertisements in Mandarin.
  • people who recycle the political rhetoric that destroyed Reconstruction.
  • anyone depicting Obama as a chimp.
  • anyone calling Obama a “tar baby.”
  • anyone saying Obama is the ultimate example of Affirmative Action
  • the lunatic who runs a blog called “Your Nigger President”
  • the majority of people in this country (51%) who, according to an AP survey, express explicit racial prejudice toward blacks
  • states that support “voter identification” laws specifically geared to disenfranchise black, Hispanic, poor, and elderly voters.
  • states that amended their constitutions to record forever their collective desire to take rights away from their gay and lesbian citizens.
  • people who fund billboards that want to “save” America.
  • people who believe that taxation means turning one’s back on the principles that make a place great.
  • people who think the Founding Fathers were Evangelical Christians.
  • people who want Republicans in the House to allow this country to go off a fiscal cliff in the hopes that Obama will get the blame.
  • people who boycott brands that support gay rights or reproductive choice for women (General Mills, Nabisco, JC Penney, Starbucks, Microsoft, Apple), including the genius who lit a lawn on fire by attempting to burn a box of Cheerios.
  • people who homeschool because they think public schools are tainting their children with liberalism.
  • young-earth creationists or any people who are more likely to believe in superstition than evolution.
  • people who don’t care about the environment.
  • people who think companies always do what is right.
  • people, especially Jews, who think liberals don’t care about Israel.
  • people who believe money is the most important thing in life.
  • people who censor every word we fucking say.
  • people who are paid (PAID!) to post inflammatory comments on news articles and message boards.
  • people who believe this is the greatest country in the world. (Spoiler alert: it’s not.  Most things this country can be considered “best” at are not worth listing.)
  • people who criminalize unions without knowing that many of the rights they themselves have been accorded as workers can be traced back to the efforts of unions.
  • people who believe bipartisanship means one party joining the other to spread one agenda.
  • people who would call members of their own party traitors for attempting to work across the aisle.
  • people who throw the word “traitor” around in general without having a full grasp of its meaning.
  • people who believe fetuses deserve more love and assistance than people who have actually been born.
  • people who believe bullying is not a problem.
  • people who believe that embryonic stem cells are people.
  • people who believe that corporations are people.
  • people who intimidate or kill census takers.
  • people who went to those healthcare town hall meetings and yelled and pointed like little brats.
  • people who tell others that they are of “American” heritage.
  • people who believe that accomplishing nothing is better than accomplishing anything.
  • people who believe that Election Day mischief is fair game.
  • people who say Obama compromises Judeo-Christian values.
  • people who believe that judges who protect the rights of minorities or restrict the influence of big business are dangerous activists.
  • people who believe that $250,000 is middle income.
  • people who believe the Electoral College is the best way to elect a leader in 2012.
  • people who believe Planned Parenthood is made up of evil, militant feminists out to ruin America.
  • people who are demanding accountability for the incident in Benghazi when no such accountability was demanded for similar or more serious attacks that took place when George W. Bush was president.
  • people who think some variation of the phrase “I have (black/gay/female/Jewish) friends” is justification for being a brazen bigot.
  • people who believe religious institutions should be exemptfrom taxation.
  • people who state that Obama is a practitioner of the “dark arts.”
  • people who consider any form of bigotry to be listed under “religious freedom.”
  • people who still use the phrase “states’ rights” the way it was once used.
  • people who scam the welfare and food stamp systems and then demand that those services be cut for others.
  • people who take advantage of low-information and low-education voters for their own gain.
  • people who vote for a candidate simply because they think s/he’s going to win.
  • people who believe that voting equipment should be provided, controlled, or in any way touched by anyone associated with a candidate.
  • people who think genetically modified food is okay.
  • people who believe in forced, invasive ultrasounds.
  • people who want to redefine rape.
  • temporarily embarrassed millionaires who think they’re in the 1% but are really in the 47%.
  • people who think a disastrous, deadly hurricane counts as “good luck.”
  • self-haters of any kind.
  • people who wished for New Jersey to drown because the Republican governor there praised the President’s response to Superstorm Sandy.
  • people who are proud of being ignorant.
  • people who are proud of being rednecks.
  • people who are proud of the fact they have never left their state.
  • people who are proud of the fact that they don’t have a passport.
  • people who forget about Native Americans.
  • people who think that just because you’re in the military, you must be a Republican.
  • people who think Alexander Hamilton should be replaced by Ronald Reagan on the $10 bill.
  • people who believe in the “liberal war” on anything.
  • people who think that a black person standing outside a polling place must necessarily be a Black Panther.
  • people who think the Affordable Care Act is hurting more people than it is helping.
  • people who think locating and eliminating Osama bin Laden was not a significant achievement.
  • people who wanted the American auto industry to die and take millions of workers with it.
  • people who think their well being is not directly affected by the well being of their fellow citizens.
  • people who think every Hispanic person is in this country illegally.
  • people who think the language spoken by the majority in this country should be called “American.”
  • people who think that equal pay for equal work is an awful idea.
  • people who think Social Security is a Ponzi scheme.
  • people who think the more expensive a university is, the better it must be.
  • people who think that there are not enough “angry white guys” in the world.
  • people who think an advanced degree makes you an elitist prick.
  • people who think the Boy Scouts of America should be for straight boys only.
  • people who think it’s easier to bitch from the sidelines than it is to actually lead.
  • people who think that non-Americans who have opinions about the American political process are pretentious.
  • people who vote with any organ other than the brain.
  • people who won’t eat the cuisine of a particular country because they don’t like that country.
  • people who would rather destroy the environment than look for ways to move away from our need for fuel.
  • people who don’t believe in gun control.
  • people who bomb abortion clinics.
  • sore political winners and sore political losers.
  • people who don’t believe in government… until they need government’s help.
  • people who want capital punishment to apply to the mentally disabled.
  • people who think that raising taxes on the ultra-wealthy is the same or worse than raising taxes on small business owners.
  • people who just don’t care.
And that message is… HAVE A NICE DAY.

Written by Dave

November 7, 2012 at 07:34

Posted in General, Politics

Much Ado About Nuggets

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So I have resisted saying anything about the Chick-fil-A scandal until now, but not because I don’t have an opinion… I guess I’ve just been waiting to see how long this non-story could hang on buried in the flabby, sweaty armpit that is the August news cycle.

It looks a little like a dog to me…

If you’ve been living under a rock, Dan Cathy, the COO of Chick-fil-A and the son of founder S. Truett Cathy, told The Ken Coleman Show and Biblical Recorder where he stands on the issue of marriage and, by extension, the issue of gay rights.

“I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than You as to what constitutes a marriage’. I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”

“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. … We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that,” … “(w)e intend to stay the course. We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

This led to strong reactions on both sides of the issue, including from Boston mayor Tom Menino, who stated very clearly that Chick-fil-A was not welcome in his city because of its executive board’s cultural views. Most notably on the supporting side, former Arkansas governor and Southern Baptist minister Mike Huckabee suggested that people should record and photograph themselves going to Chick-fil-A in support of their owners’ views during what he called Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, which took place last Wednesday, August 1.

The controversy here, in my opinion, lies not in the Cathys’ positions on an extremely polarizing political wedge issue but in the fact that their views determine which special interest groups they give money to. In this country, anyone is free to espouse any political position, no matter how bigoted, but when money is involved, the only recourse of those who do not agree is to avoid providing the financial support any political group needs to spread its message.

The saddest part of all this is since Chick-fil-A is HUGE in the capital-S South, most stores were overrun with supporters on Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, far more supporters than counter-protesters. Most of the patrons appeared to be white Southern Baptists 35 to 65 years of age, the demographic most likely to support banning same-sex marriage by statute or amendment and least likely to embrace this country’s long history of inclusion, diversity, and church-state separation.  Supporters posted photos and videos of themselves going to Chick-fil-A on sites like Twitter and Facebook leading those of us Americans for whom homophobia is and always has been grossly unpalatable to wonder why we even know these people, why we have to share the same country.

They choose bigotry over love, big business over common sense, and – perhaps most outrageously – organized religion over their own flesh and blood.

Notice I didn’t say they chose God over their own flesh and blood; no god ever worth his letters would let his adherents behave the way these people have.  The position chosen by the supporters of Chick-fil-A is not about God at all, no matter what they may say; it’s about fear, ignorance, insecurity, and self-hatred. It’s based on a criminally widespread belief among these slack-jaws that they are inherently superior to others who are different in any way. That right there is the very definition of bigotry.

After a few days, I’m sure this stink will die down like every other demoralizing bit of news about the state of LGBT rights (or lack of) in the United States, but one question in my mind won’t: why were there so many thousands of these so-called Christians seen at Chick-fil-A on a day’s notice instead of at, say, a homeless shelter or soup kitchen?  Because, you know, Jesus actually did go out of his way to make mention of that.


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It’s been almost a week since the horrifying mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado that left 12 innocent moviegoers dead and dozens more wounded. It’s been almost a week since we saw the photos of the man who did it, the man who by all accounts is educated and, prior to this psychotic break, just another child of upscale white suburbs.

When will it end? How many more of these heinous crimes against peaceable assembly must we endure before we finally address their root causes: poor treatment of mental illness and ease of access to firearms of mass destruction. I grew up in New York City in the 1980s, so I will never understand why anyone needs to own a gun. All it took was watching the scene in Ghost where Patrick Swayze was shot and killed for me to hate guns forever and to constantly worry about whether my parents would come home safely from eating out with friends.

Since I accept that we will never see a constitutional amendment banning guns outright in this irreparably polarized country, I am hoping that we can instead undertake efforts to curtail gun violence through regulation – and one fine place to start is by getting large-capacity magazines off the market for good.

I can’t tell you how sad I was when I read that gun purchases spiked in Colorado in the wake of this senseless act. What kind of sense does that make? A bunch of people get shot in an enclosed area, and you think you need more guns? If everyone in the theatre had been armed, I guarantee you that easily twice as many people would have died.

Written by Dave

July 25, 2012 at 14:38


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Earlier today, a young woman was walking down the street around the corner from my apartment building.  She was carrying out an errand for the salon she works at.  A highly agitated homeless person described as slovenly and mentally ill tried to snatch her bag, and when she resisted, he stabbed her in the abdomen.  It was covered extensively on the local news and in blogs.

The victim’s injuries are not life-threatening, but the assailant was able to flee the scene.

This attack is very frightening because it has the aroma of a time from 1965 to 1995 when the city was not safe. At all. Random acts of violence committed by the unsheltered and neglected mentally ill in an area of the city unaccustomed to disturbance of any kind should raise concerns for all of us because they highlight three things we straight-up suck at as a society:

  • Properly treating mental illness
  • Eliminating homelessness in a compassionate but effective way
  • Race/class relations (the assailant in this case was black, as determined by surveillance cameras)

I asked a staff member in my building about this very thing… about whether we might be going back in time to the bad old days.  “The truth is,” he told me, “crimes like this never stop. They just don’t happen often enough around here to numb you. In some parts of the Bronx, this is known as a Friday night.”

So how do we do it? How do we get the homeless off the street?  How do we properly treat the mentally ill?  Do they wish to be helped, and do we wish to do the real work of helping?

Written by Dave

July 17, 2012 at 22:53

A more perfect union

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Today is July 4. Independence Day is a great opportunity not only to have hot dogs and watch fireworks but to reflect on the ways to make this country better.

If you have had the pleasure of travelling to other countries, you can observe the way things are done in other places and can think about how other nations’ successes could possibly be applied here.  If only there were not such division, stubbornness, and ignorance among wide swaths of our own population and among some of our politicians of both long and short tenure.  I grew up in an environment of Jews, Europeans, and other liberals who knew exactly what needed to be done to have a solvent universal health system, sensible gun control, equal rights for the LGBT community, and fair treatment of the workforce – among many other things – but this same group always felt it was impossible get the rest of the country to go along.  I never understood that.  I never understood why people on the other side believe that government cannot actually be used to help its citizens when that exact thing has been done so many places before. Try telling Canadians you want to take away their health care, or try telling the French they can’t have their holiday time, or try telling Scandinavians there is no more public education.  Watch what happens.

Why do we go around telling everyone, including each other, that we’re number 1 when all we’re really number 1 at is telling people we’re number 1?

Written by Dave

July 4, 2012 at 11:30

Health care law upheld

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Earlier today, the Supreme Court of the United States decided by a 5-4 margin in which Chief Justice John Roberts was surprisingly the swing vote that the individual mandate included within the Affordable Care Act pejoratively referred to as “Obamacare” was permissible on its own as a tax. So the law can stand. This is an excellent development for anyone who has ever travelled outside of this country and seen how badly we lag behind other developed nations in taking care of our own citizens. It’s a bad day for crazy, for stupid, for petty, and for racist. It’s a bad day for those who wanted to see the law that was at first glance a carbon copy of “Romneycare” get thrown out just so they could say that a foreign-born black Muslim communist had failed.

To those polarizing, ignorant mere excuses for people: you lose.

Written by Dave

June 28, 2012 at 12:52

Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man

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A friend of mine from college posted a link from Buzzfeed detailing how the Oreo page on Facebook had posted a picture of a multi-layer rainbow Oreo in recognition of (LGBT) Pride, which took place this past weekend.  The image is innocent but clear enough:

Well, some bitterly ignorant bigots made their presence felt by threatening to boycott one of the most successful baked goods ever made.  A sampling of some of the negative comments…

  • “Being gay is totally wrong and should be a crime.”
  • “gays need to leave america”
  • “I won’t buy any oreos or other Kraft products anymore(;) looks like you have plenty of Faggots to keep your business going!”
  • “Yet another liberal company destroying our religious values and teaching immorality”
  • “This is absolutely disgusting. Your attempt to ‘normalize’ the behavior of homosexuals has cost you a customer.”
  • “Gays can all go kill themselves(;) they are sinners and will burn in hell”
  • “don’t support gays or the companies that do and hell yea I’m a hater! being a fag is just wrong and always will be!!!! you should all be exiled to some island where you can all share aids together!!”
  •  “I hope Nabisco goes out of business for supporting this atrocity. I will make sure my friends and family never again buy your products. Fuck faggots. Hate them so much. So many whose skulls I want to smash in with a hammer. I thank those who support this boycott and GOD BLESS AMERICA.”

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?  Where do they come from?  What sham of a religion do they pretend to adhere to?  Maybe I wasn’t exposed to self-loathing closet cases like these growing up in New York City or in Canada, but I want nothing to do with anyone who would kill someone over a picture of a fucking cookie.

Jesus might have “saved” you, but he thinks you’re a disgrace to humanity.  Homophobia of this sort is so over, it hurts. The only cure is death… or to have someone you really love tell you he or she is gay.

For every cowardly, criminally backward comment on that picture, there were two dozen positive ones.  And the number of people who liked Oreo on Facebook went up.  Way up.

I’d tell you to rot in hell, bigots, but I know you’re already there.  It’s not too late to secede and form your own failure of a country while the rest of us retake our position of respect and decency among nations.  Just keep that in your back pockets.

Written by Dave

June 26, 2012 at 23:07